Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Earth Hour Smearth Hour

Last week I started seeing commercials on television for this Earth Hour thing.  Apparently everyone who wanted to participate would turn off lights, televisions and what-not at 8:30pm for one hour.  I didn't really give it much thought because I like the earth just as much as the next person but I like my television perhaps a little bit more than the earth.  I'm ashamed to admit that my family watches television almost all the time.  The only time that the box is off is during the day when I'm here alone.  I spend my time blogging, cleaning, or running errands.  I don't have a lot of time to spend finding out who the "baby daddy" is or to watch some woman flash the audience to get a two cent strand of "jerry beads".  So the question is, how do I know that that is what goes on on daytime t.v. and to that I must plead the fifth.

Anyway, I digress.  So earth hour started approaching the other night and there wasn't really anything that great on t.v. so I thought I'd turn off the t.v. and the lights just to see how long my family could make it.  The kids go to bed at 8:30pm, otherwise this whole earth hour thing would have never been possible.  So, earth hour at my house went a little something like this:

8:20pm   Me:  "Okay kids, time for bed!"
8:25pm   Me:  "Honey, earth hour is in 5 minutes, okay?"
               DH:  "You're not really going to do that are you?"
               Me:  "Sure, why not?"
               DH:  "Because I don't believe in all of that global warming nonsense."
8:27pm    Me:  (Going around the house and turning off all of the lights and television)  (I light some candles, put one in my kids' bedroom because they are scared of the dark and one in the family room.)
8:28pm    Son:  "Hey, turn on the lights!"
                Me:  "No, it's earth hour and I'll leave this candle in your room for an hour, then I'll turn the bathroom light on in the hallway."
                 Son:  "What's earth hour?"
                Me:  "When we turn off all of the things that use energy to help the earth.  Now goodnight!"
8:35pm    Me: "I wonder if anyone else in the neighborhood is doing this?"  I step out onto the front porch to see.  Everyone else has lights on.  Hmmmm.  DH falls asleep on the couch.  I'm alone with my thoughts for the first time in years.  This is scary.  What the hell am I supposed to do all by myself in the dark?  I need to do laundry, but I can't see to go downstairs.  I don't have anymore candles.

8:40pm  I'm hungry.  Would I be breaking the rules if I opened up the refrigerator and the light comes on?  Who's gonna know?  I open up the fridge quickly and shut the door feeling like I cheated.  I go back and sit down in the silence.  Everyone is asleep, this really sucks. 

8:45pm  Hey, I've made it almost 45 minutes, cool!  Oh wait, this thing started at 8:30 not at 8:00, CRAP.

8:47pm  Forget this crap.  I wonder what's on t.v.? CLICK

So, earth hour only lasted about 17 minutes and I have nobody to blame but myself.  Oh well, there's always next year.

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