Free To Pee

The weather is absolutely gorgeous here today, clear blue skies and 75 degress. Now that's what I call perfect. It was so perfect outside, in fact, that I could not resist taking my two older boys outside to play while the little one had his nap. It wasn't too long before I noticed my 6 year old in the front yard standing facing a large evergreen tree. Then I noticed that he was peeing on the big evergreen tree. Great! Of course I told him that he was way too old to be peeing on trees in the yard.

My mother-in-law was the one who actually got the kids started with peeing outside on bushes when they were little. We have a big yard and the house is pretty well secluded; enough so that neighbors can't really tell what's going on. I was irritated slightly when she started the peeing outside thing, but it led to something way more horrifying.

My oldest son is 10 and has special needs. We've had a heck of a time trying to get him to not pee in his pants. He still wets at night and has to wear those Goodnight pull up things. Occasionally he'll get so busy playing outside that he won't even stop to pee. He'll just go in his pants. It's extremely frustrating and sometimes embarrasing.

Last year we all went to a festival at a nearby park. There were lots of people to say the least. Do you already see where this story is headed? Now we hardly ever go anywhere. My oldest son's behavior is not that great so unfortunately our outtings are pretty brief and infrequent. Whenever we get up the nerve to take a little outdoor adventure, we always seem to regret it. Either the kids fight or whine or misbehave in one way or another. My husband and I come back more stressed out than when we left.

So we're out at this park festival thing and I have my baby in his stroller. My 10 year old is with me and we're standing in the shade of some trees trying to get out of the blazing sun. We're waiting on my husband to return with some ice creams for all of us. My son is running around close by and I just happen to turn around just in time to find him with his pants around his knees peeing on a tree with people ALL AROUND HIM! I could have died. I yelled at him to quit. I would be lying if I said that at that moment I wanted to act like I was looking around for his terrible mother and pretend that I wasn't her. I will never forget that as long as I live.

My whole life seems to revolve around testosterone and pee in one way or another. I couldn't have called this blog anything but "Spongemom Stretchpants". First of all, I have blown up like a sponge since having kids. I retain water like nobody's business and my entire wardrobe consists of some type of stretchpants now. I have nothing decent to wear. My boys watch Spongebob all the time and I need to get someone to write a theme song for me. Like I've said before it should go something like: Who lives in a cul-de-sac and cleans up the pee? Spongemom Stretchpants!